


Memories

by Piper_Emerald



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, Confrontations, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith is bad at communication, Krolia giving Keith advice, Krolia is a good mom, M/M, Nightmares, PINING KEITH, Past and Present, Set after season six, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Emerald/pseuds/Piper_Emerald
Summary: Krolia saw more of her son's past than she let on during the two years they spent traveling through space. She wasn't going to say anything about the glimpses she was given, they were still private moments of Keith's life and it wasn't as if Keith didn't tell her about Voltron and his friends on his own. That was why some of the glimpses she caught surprised her. While Keith loved talking about the group, he’d made a point to cut out a detail. That detail was Lance Mcclain.In which Krolia sees a handful of memories Keith and Lance shared and gives Keith the motherly advice he needs.





	Memories

Krolia saw more of her son’s life than she let on. She knew that neither of them had any control over the moments that they saw, and didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing up the ones that she knew were clearly not for any eyes but his own. That didn’t mean she didn’t treasure each glimpse into the life she’d thought she’d never get the chance to be a part of.

Most of the memories hurt her heart. Part of her had always known that it wasn’t in Keith’s genes to lead a perfect life, but seeing how ripped at the seams his child hood was felt like a knife in her chest. The universe hadn’t been good to him. He’d struggled to survive and he was still fighting now.

However, there were a handful of moments that made her glad. As she had expected from what Keith told her of his life, all of these included the friends he’d found himself with. She’d heard stories of the paladins of Voltron as she continued her mission for the Blade of Marmora. None of the legends told in countless planets quite captured the quickly group of kids who’d sworn to save the universe.

Keith talked about Voltron without hesitation. Unlike the sore spots of his growing up or the still present wounds of the losses he’d endured with the Blade, this was a topic he seemed happy to share with her. That was why the glimpses she caught surprised her. While Keith loved talking about the group, he’d made a point to cut out a detail. That detail was Lance Mcclain.

Sure, Keith had talked about his former school rival and teammate about as much as the others, but he never told his mother what Lance really meant to him. She had to see that for herself.

The first moment happened a week after they had boarded the creature taking them through space. Keith was asleep, but she was too restless and had been spending the past hour watching the fire. It hurt her eyes, but there was something compelling about seeing the flames from and flicker out.

It happened without warning. One moment she was completely present, sitting next to her son’s sleeping body. The next she was standing in a crowded hallway. Only she wasn’t standing. She wasn’t there. She was seeing everything clearly, but it wasn’t through her own eyes.

* * *

_Keith was just trying to get passed everyone else. He didn’t want to be here, he really didn’t._

_"Hey, Keith!”_

_Of course he was being wrenched out of his thoughts by the most annoying voice he had to deal with. Of course he wouldn’t be allowed to just walk out of here without some sort of half-assed confrontation._

_“What do you want?” He turned to face Lance._

_“Seriously?” Lance had his arms crossed and what Keith imagined was supposed to look must more threatening than a pout on his face. “You can’t just call me out in front of everyone and saunter away.”_

_“It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to pilot,” Keith said smugly before grimacing. “Saunter? Really?”_

_“Just mind your own business next time,” Lance huffed._

_“Whatever, Lance.” Keith shook his head, but he couldn’t help the small grin forming on his face as he walked away. He made sure Lance didn’t see it. He didn’t know how this kid would react if he realized that despite his determination that they were opponents, he was the closest thing Keith had to a friend in this place._

* * *

Keith had told Krolia he only vaguely remembered Lance from before they became paladins. She had a feeling that this was what he’d told everyone. She decided not to question the matter. Keith hadn’t meant to share that moment with her, and she wasn’t going to invade what he wanted to keep private any further than time was already making her.

Still, it was nice to see a younger him smile. So many of his memories lacked anything happy, and if this boy trying to irritate him could give him that then she was grateful.

Part of her did question why Keith was so dead set on keeping this a secret. It wasn’t as if Lance and him weren’t teammates, or that Voltron was as divorced on acting on emotions as the Blade. If her son was anything like her—and she knew he was—then emotional connections wasn’t something that came easy to him. Krolia only ever had a rare few loved ones, and most of those she had lost. At times that had made her more reserved, but it had also made her cherish love in the instances that she had it.

But many that was presuming too much. Keith might just not like to dwell on his life before becoming a paladin and a member of the Blade. That she understood more than anything.

That morning Keith seemed a little bit lighter. She wished she could say the same for herself. After seeing the memory it had been even harder to still her thoughts enough to fall asleep.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked her son as they began what had become their mourning routine.

“Surprisingly, yeah.” Keith smiled. It was the same smile that she’d seen in the memory.

The next one was just as unexpected as the first. She was watching Keith try to teach the dog how to fetch. They hadn’t settled on a name for him yet, mainly because Keith didn’t want to go with Yorak but couldn’t think up anything better.

In the eighteen years she’d been away from Earth, she’d managed to keep domestic fantasies at bay. However, watching Keith now made her think of what it might have been like if she stayed. She could see a much younger him with a much more Earth-like pet. She’d be watching them in the yard of the house her and her husband shared while he made dinner for the three of them. They’d talk about what Keith did that day at school and a million tiny trivial things that not one of them had really been allowed.

It was then that the real past took her dream’s place.

* * *

_Keith was sitting alone in the control room. When he first joined Voltron he’d thought that it would be jarring to look out into empty space, but now he found it oddly relaxing. It reminded him how small he was—how small all of them were. For some reason, that made most of his fears calm down a little bit._

_The peace was of course shattered by the sound of something falling behind him. Keith sprang to his feet, expecting—well, at this point he wasn’t even sure what he was expecting. His eyes were met with Lance, sprawled on the ground and looking thoroughly embarrassed._

_“I wasn’t supposed to trip,” he informed Keith._

_“Right,” Keith uttered._

_“Hi,” Lance pulled himself to his feet._

_“What are you doing awake?” Keith asked him._

_“Hello, Lance. It’s nice to see you. How are you doing?” Lance attempted to imitate Keith’s voice._

_“Whatever,” Keith shook his head. “It’s late.”_

_“Well, technically it isn’t.” Lance informed him, walking forward to sit down. “Since we’re in space and all.”_

_“You know what I mean,” Keith muttered. “Everyone else is asleep. What are you doing here?”_

_“What are you doing?” Lance asked back. “You’re awake too, you know.”_

_“I’m aware,” Keith said dryly. He sat down as well, for the moment accepting Lance’s presence. “I come here to think sometimes.”_

_“At midnight?” Lance asked._

_“Yes, at midnight,” Keith rolled his eyes._

_“Do you need no one else to be around to think?” Lance questioned._

_“It helps,” Keith said pointedly._

_“Then your brain should thank me for giving it a break,” Lance decided. “Also, I’m pretty sure theres a difference between thinking and brooding.”_

_“I don’t brood,” Keith said stiffly._

_“Uh, yeah you do.” Lance informed him._

_Keith sighed. He wasn’t in the mood to bicker, he just wanted to clear his head._

_“What about you?” He asked Lance. “What are you doing here?”_

_“Oh, nothing,” Lance shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can hear Hunk snoring from the other room. Kinda hard to sleep through that.”_

_“The walls are sound proof,” Keith dismissed._

_“Which is why it’s so distracting!” Lance exclaimed._

_Keith didn’t buy that for a second. Flimsy excuse aside, Lance wasn’t a a great liar. Whenever he said something that wasn’t true, every part of him seemed to radiate an “I’m guilty” vibe. Keith was sure that made things a lot easier for Lance’s parents when he was growing up._

_“So you can’t sleep?” He asked._

_“I can sleep fine,” Lance brushed off. “When it’s quiet.”_

_“Right,” Keith nodded._

_Why was it only now that he seemed to notice the dark circles under Lance’s eyes? Surely those hadn’t been there before. Someone would have said something. Shiro and Allura were the most observant and caring people Keith had ever met. They would have seen how tired Lance looked in a heart beat. It wasn’t like he could make part of his face go away._

_Then again, Keith had once seen how many beauty products Lance had in his room. He could be covering the sleep bruises during the day. Still, that would mean that he was actively trying to hide whatever was going on with him from the rest of them._

_Maybe Lance was a better liar than Keith thought._

_It was at that moment that Lance failed at stifling a yawn. So he was tired, he just wasn’t sleeping. That explained why he’d tripped on nothing coming in. He was probably exhausted but he wasn’t sleeping. He had trouble standing, yet he’d made himself walk all the way from his room to here._

_“Are you okay?” Keith hadn’t meant to sound like he really had no idea. That was probably the worst thing he could ask, anyway. Of course Lance wasn’t okay, that much was obvious._

_“Yeah,” Lance shrugged. “I wasn’t the one brooding.”_

_“Right,” Keith muttered._

_He noticed when Lance’s shoulders slumped a little bit more, and his body leaned a little bit farther back into his seat. He also noticed that it was getting harder and harder for Lance to keep his eyes open. Keith didn’t say anything, or try to keep Lance awake. They sat there in silence for what felt like ages, but really was probably only a few minutes._

_When Lance finally slipped out of consciousness, his head fell onto Keith’s shoulder. Keith stiffen slightly, but didn’t try to push him off. If he did Lance would wake up and continue to avoid sleeping for whatever reason._

_So he just sat there with Lance’s head resting on his shoulder, quietly looking out into space. Suddenly everything was peaceful again. Keith wasn’t sure that it made sense for him to feel at peace with Lance practically sleeping on top of him, but for some reason the sound of his breathing was soothing._

_At least, it was until Lance jolted awake with a violent gasp, nearly punching Keith in the chest as he did so._

* * *

Krolia was starting to wonder what time was showing Keith without her knowing, or if this trade was something that only went one way. Maybe this was deliberate. Maybe some force was telling her that these were the moments she needed to know. Or maybe she was seeing the memories that Keith chose to call back to him while they waited to continue their mission.

* * *

_“They’re getting worse, aren’t they?” Keith didn’t bother with small talk when he found Lance alone in the control room._

_“It’s fine,” Lance shrugged._

_“You’re a bad liar,” Keith informed him even though he still wasn’t certain about that._

_“Why are you here?” Lance didn’t sound defensive, just curious._

_Keith didn’t have an answer for that. He was tired enough to sleep, and he didn’t need to clear his head right now. This was one of the few times where he was calm, but he’d still dragged himself here when he knew that the rest of their team was asleep._

_“I don’t know,” Keith lied._

_“Okay.” Lance knew he was lying. Keith hadn’t noticed when they’d gotten to the point of being able to communicate with out talking. He’d only ever been that connected to Shiro, but some how Lance and him were on the same page._

_“You could tell the others,” Keith voiced. “Pidge might know some science way to help them stop. Or you could ask Allura to use Altean magic on you. I’m sure you’d like that.”_

_Lance tried to laugh._

_“Why don’t you tell someone?” Keith asked more seriously now._

_“You know why,” Lance stated._

_“You’re in a team now,” Keith pressed. “How are people supposed to rely on you if you keep stuff like this hidden.”_

_“That’s funny coming from you,” Lance informed him. “I’m fine Keith. You don’t have to worry.”_

_“I’m going to anyway,” Keith blurted._

_For a second neither of them said anything. Keith didn’t like to speak his emotions. He didn’t like to make connections if he didn’t know how long they’d last. He didn’t shut people out on purpose, but that thought pattern was so engraved into him that it was hard not to._

_“I remember our bonding moment,” Lance let the words fall from his lips with a small and genuine smile._

_“I knew it,” Keith couldn’t help smiling back. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”_

_Keith wasn’t sure where the confidence to ask that had come from. The second it left his lips he could feel his face turning red. It didn’t help that Lance was staring at him, apparently at a loss for words._

_“I mean,” Keith cleared his throat. “You can’t just not sleep. I could wake you up if they get bad, and at least then you won’t be alone after.”_

_“Are you sure?” Lance wasn’t brushing him off. He wasn’t telling him he didn’t need help. He was looking at Keith like he actually wanted to say yes._

_“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “We don’t have to tell the others if you don’t want to.”_

_“Why are you doing this for me?” Lance asked._

_“We’re part of a team,” Keith reminded him._

* * *

“I wonder how long it’s been for them,” Keith voiced one day.

“The Blades?” Krolia asked.

She’d been in the middle of attempting to make them lunch. It seemed the both of them weren’t very skilled in that department. She remembered once saying that she’d take the ability to fight over knowing to cook anyway. She was rethinking that now.

“And Voltron,” Keith answered. “They’ll notice if I don’t contact them for a while. They’ll get worried.”

“Maybe they’ll decide to rescue us.” She wouldn’t mind that. Even if she was happy to finally be with Keith again, they were both slowly getting restless.

“Yeah,” Keith sighed. “I don’t think they’d listen to him.”

“I thought Shiro was the leader?” She asked.

“What?” Keith blinked at her. “Oh, yeah. He is. I meant—never mind. I’m just babbling.”

“Right,” she hummed. She was pretty sure she knew who he’d meant.

* * *

_“Is something going on between you and Lance?” The question caught Keith completely off guard. Shiro was giving him a knowing smile that Keith really didn’t know how to react to. “I saw him sneaking out of your room yesterday morning.”_

_“Oh,” Keith wasn’t sure if he should laugh or scream. “No. No, it’s not at all what it looks like.”_

_“Okay, Keith,” Shiro was still smiling._

_“I’m serious,” Keith sounded like he was babbling excuses. It really was nothing like that. Not at all. “We were just talking.”_

_“I get it,” Shiro told him. “It’s between you and him. That’s nice. I’m happy for you, Keith.”_

_“There’s nothing to be happy for,” Keith tried. “Shiro, I’m not lying.”_

_Shiro ruffled his hair. He hadn’t done that since Keith was in high school._

* * *

“Where you and Dad in love?” The question seems to come out of nowhere. “I mean, I know you were, but—God, that sounds so stupid.”

“Is this about why I left?” She had to ask.

“No,” Keith shook his head. “No, I understand that.”

“What’s bothering you?” She knew something was. She knew he wasn’t just wondering, there was something behind the question.

“What’s it like?” He asked a little hesitantly, as if he was judging the words even as he was voicing them.

“Being in love?” She asked.

“I just,” Keith ran a hand through his hair almost nervously.“I never talked to him about it before he—”

That sentence was left unfinished. It was alright. They both knew how it ended.  
“And Shiro never tried to broach that subject so,” Keith smiled meekly. Suddenly he was nineteen and not stiffened from war and hardships. Suddenly he was the young man who might have come to her one normal night with these questions and an innocent gleam in his eyes.

“It’s nice,” she stated.

“Well, I figured that much,” he muttered.

“Do you think you’re in love?” She asked him.

“No,” Keith seemed to hear how quickly the word came out and how untruthful it sounded. “I don’t know.”

“You can talk to me,” she told him.

“I know,” he smiled at her now. “I just want to figure things out in my head first.”

She couldn’t help the knowing look that spread on her face. It was funny. All the times that she’d imagined him grown up, she’d never thought that so much of her would be in him.

“What?” Keith crossed his arms.

“We’re very alike,” she hummed.

“Yeah,” he stated.

“Your father wasn’t like that,” she told him. “He was more passionate. He was very impulsive in a good way. He went with his gut and didn’t go back on it.”

“Yeah?” Keith was listening intently now. He was hanging on every word. She pushed down how sad that made her feel. It had been so long since he had a parent.

“When I was your age, I didn’t think that everything happened for a reason.” She went on. “I figured that everyone was in charge of their own fate and that was that.”

“Are you trying to say meeting him was destiny?” He asked skeptically.

“Having you was,” she answered honestly. “Meeting him was a happy accident and I wouldn’t trade anything for it.”

“So that’s what love is?” Keith wondered. “An accident?”

“For me,” she admitted. “It’s something that people like us don’t think we’ll get. But, Keith, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

* * *

_“I thought they stopped,” Keith said when he opened the door of his room to find Lance awkwardly hovering outside of it._

_“I was gonna knock,” Lance said quickly._

_“Right,” Keith wanted to laugh. If he didn’t feel so empty inside he probably would have._

_“They might come back,” Lance told him._

_“You’re still a bad liar.” Keith stepped aside for Lance to come into the room, closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”_

_“Nothing,” Lance shrugged. “I’m just on edge.”_

_He wasn’t._

_“Lance,” Keith exhaled._

_“Okay,” Lance sighed. “I don’t get why you won’t let be be subtle. I don’t want you to be alone right now.”_

_“I’m fine,” Keith tried._

_“No, you’re not.” There was something in his eyes that Keith never really thought would be directed at him. “I know you’re not, and that’s okay. I miss Shiro. We all do, but you’ve known him the longest. You were the closest too him. It’s okay for you to be in pain.”_

_“No it isn’t,” Keith said sharply. “Me being in pain isn’t going to find him.”_

_“Neither is you bottling everything up,” Lance countered. “Look, you don’t have to talk to me. But just let me stay here, okay? Just for tonight.”_

_“I don’t need you feeling sorry for me,” Keith started._

_“It’s me caring,” Lance corrected. “And you don’t get a choice about it.”_

_Keith felt something inside him collapse. He felt something stop fighting, because maybe this was what he’d wanted the whole time. He’d wanted someone to push through his walls because they knew that he was destroying himself alone inside of them._

_“Just don’t hog the blankets this time,” Keith uttered._

_“No promises.”_

* * *

“I like guys.” The statement didn’t seem like it was coming out of nowhere. All day, Krolia had thought that there was something Keith was trying to tell her. She didn’t think that was it.

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know if for Galra that’s a big deal or not,” he continued. “On earth it kinda is. I didn’t tell Dad, I mean I didn’t know I did back then. I didn’t think that I’d ever have the reason to come out of the closet, since Shiro kinda already pegged me as gay.”

“Come out of the closet?” She questioned.

“It’s what people call telling everyone that you’re gay,” he explained.

“Which means liking men,” she figured.

“Or women if you’re a girl,” he added.

“And this is a big deal on earth?” She was starting to get it.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded.

“I’m glad you told me.” She didn’t think it was something that he needed to say like a confession, but from how he was talking she could tell it was important to him. That alone made her happy that he’s wanted to tell her. “So is there a boy that you like?”

“No, not really,” Keith said sheepishly. She wasn’t sure she believed that.

“You don’t have to tell me that much,” she added. “I don’t think most boys tell their mothers those details.”

“Do Galra care?” He wondered. “About which gender you prefer?”

“Most don’t,” she had come across a few who thought that others were odd for their romantic preferences but those were few and far between.

“Right,” he nodded.

“They’re more concerned with those who like other species,” she added.  
“That would be you then,” he said with a slight smile.

“Fitting the norm doesn’t run in our family,” she informed him.

“Good.” For a moment, he didn’t say anything. When he did speak, his voice was softer, and the slightest bit more vulnerable. “There is a boy”

“Yeah?” She hummed.

“He doesn’t like me.”

“How do you know?” She doubted that. If Keith’s memories where anything to go off of she really doubted that.

“I just do,” he sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she meant this.

“It’s okay,” he shrugged. “Considering everything going on, heartbreak is nothing.”

“Does that stop it from hurting?” She knew the answer to that.

“No.”

There weren’t words that could mend what he was feeling. So instead she pulled him into her arms and just held him. She thought of how she would have comforted him if they had lived that normal life. She thought about how much bigger all of this would have felt if they weren’t floating in the middle of space.

* * *

_“Hey!”_

_Keith hadn’t thought that it was going to be this hard to catch Lance at the end of the meeting. It was becoming for rare for the Blade to travel all the way to the Castle of Lions to strategize, but Keith had made sure that he was with the group when they did._

_“Hi,” Lance turned to him as if he hadn’t been avoiding his eyes for the entire day._

_“I thought we could talk,” Keith stated. He’d thought that Lance would want to as well. He’d thought that they would waste no time catching up._

_“About what?” Lance asked._

_Keith didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know what the air of coldness between them was. This wasn’t them. This hadn’t been them for a long time._

_“I don’t know,” Keith said honestly. “Anything. How you’ve been, I guess.”_

_“I’m fine,” Lance said curtly._

_“That’s good,” Keith uttered._

_“Yeah,” Lance turned to walk away. Keith wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t going to leave them like this. Maybe the him when he’d first joined Voltron would have, but he was different now. They both were._

_“What’s going on?” Keith demanded, blocking Lance’s path. “Are you mad at me?”_

_“I can’t do this right now, Keith,” Lance didn’t meet his eyes._

_“Do what?” Keith questioned. “What is with you?”_

_“What is with me?” Something in Lance’s restraint broke at that. “I’m not the one who disappeared.”_

_“What are you talking about?” Keith gapped at him. “I didn’t disappear, you know exactly why I left. You all do.”_

_“Okay, that makes it all fine then, Keith.” Lance said harshly. It was only now that Keith realized what he was hiding. It was only now that Keith saw he was trying really hard to keep himself from crying._

_“What’s wrong?” Keith asked. “If you don’t talk to me, I can’t fix anything.”_

_“You can’t fix anything,” Lance stated. “There isn’t anything to fix.”_

_“Then why are you mad at me?” Keith all but shouted._

_“Keith, I don’t know who you are anymore!” Lance stopped trying to keep the tears at bay. He stopped trying to keep his voice steady and his chest from contracting with silent sobs. “And you didn’t even give me the chance to say goodbye.”_

_“I told you I was going—”_

_“Yeah, and then you were gone,” Lance cut him off. He didn’t sound angry now. He just sounded sad. “You gave me no warning. One second everything was normal and then it was all gone.”_

_“I had to.”_

_“You wanted to,” Lance corrected. “And that hurt the most. I kept questioning everything before that. I kept wondering if maybe everything else was just you humoring me. Maybe you actually left a long time ago and I was just too stupid to notice.”_

_“That’s not what happened,” Keith hated how broken he sounded. He hated how much these words shattered him. He hated how much he had wounded the boy in front of him. He’d cut into him and not looked back._

_“It was like I was in mourning or something,” Lance continued._

_“I wasn’t dead,” Keith reminded him. “I still talked to you guys.”_

_“Not of you,” Lance snapped. “Of us. It’s like we died and you didn’t give me the chance to save us.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Keith uttered. Because that was really all he could say now._

_“I am too,” Lance just sounded weak now. He sounded weak and tired and like he’d given up. “I miss you a lot.”_

_“I miss you too,” Keith needed him to know._

_“But we can’t just go back to how things used to be,” Lance smiled now._

_It wasn’t a real smile. It was him trying to put on his brave face. Keith had seen that before. He’s seen it when the nightmares started, he’d seen it all the times they rushed into what they knew would be a battle, and he’s seen it when he left._

_“We can’t,” Keith said. He couldn’t just leave the Blades, and even if he did that wouldn’t fix the hole he’d made. It wouldn’t convince Lance that all he really wanted was to be back by his side again._

_“You should go,” Lance told him. “You weren’t supposed to stay this long, right?”_

_“Yeah.” Keith didn’t want to leave._

_“Call us later,” Lance tried to push humor back into his voice. “So we know you’re not getting yourself into trouble.”_

_“I will.” Keith didn’t want to leave._

_“Bye, Keith.”_

_“Bye, Lance.”_

_Keith walked away._

* * *

“I’m gonna miss how quiet it is here,” Keith remarked.

“Really?” Krolira asked doubtfully.

“A little bit,” Keith shrugged. “It’s nice not to be in the middle of everything for once.”

“You don’t have to always be there, if you don’t want to,” she told him.

“Neither do you,” he countered. “Someone has to.”

“I didn’t think we’d be this the same,” she mused.

“Neither did I,” Keith smiled now. “You’re a lot better than the mom I imagined.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “She was incredibly boring compared to you.”

Krolia laughed at that.

“You’re much more grown up than I thought you’d be at this age,” she let him know.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He asked her.

“I’m still deciding that,” she ruffled his hair for good measure not caring about the eye roll she received in response.

* * *

_“Keith!” Lance didn’t give him anymore of a warning before launching himself toward him. For a second, Keith thought he was going to punch him. He guessed he’d kinda deserved that. Instead Lance tackled him into what Keith took a second to realize was a hug._

_“What?” Was all Keith was able to get out before Lance did infect punch him. “What the hell are you doing?”_

_“I should ask you the same thing!” Lance was angry, he was really angry. “Matt told me what you tried to do.”_

_Oh. So that was what this was about._

_“I didn’t do anything,” Keith pulled himself up from the ground. Lance was still squared off, this time Keith didn’t know if it was to attack or embrace. “Lotor showed up before I could.”_

_“And what if he hadn’t?” Lance questioned._

_“You know what,” Keith felt cold. He didn’t know what to do with the stare Lance was giving him. He didn’t know what to do with the worry._

_“Never do something that stupid again,” Lance hissed. He grabbed hold of Keith’s shoulders. Keith hadn’t realized he was that strong._

_“What else was I supposed to do?” Keith snapped. “I was trying to protect the rest of you!”_

_“With your life?” Lance’s grip on him tightened. “That’s not okay, Keith. There’s always going to be another way.”_

_“But there wasn’t!” Keith shouted. “You think I just jump into danger because I want to? I’m not an idiot, Lance. I looked at the situation and…”_

_Keith swallowed his words. He didn’t know if he wanted to voice them. He knew this wasn’t the right time, he knew there was never going to be a right time, because this wasn’t right. It was selfish but if Keith was being completely honest with himself, he was always going to put Lance first. Whether that meant giving up his place in Voltron or his life._

_“And?” Lance was still staring at him with those bright, demanding eyes. Keith wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to keep anything from those eyes._

_“And I’d rather die than not keep you safe, okay?” Keith pulled out of Lance’s grip. “I’m sorry if I scared you, but I’d do it again if I had to.”_

_“Keith,” Lance’s voice was softer now._

_He looked like he wasn’t sure how to phrase what was going through his mind. Keith just watched as the emotions danced on his face. Lance didn’t need to say anything. Keith heard exactly what he needed just by looking._

_“We should go find the others,” Keith said softly._

_“You’re not staying, are you?” Lance asked._

_“You know the answer to that.”_

* * *

It was after that memory that Krolia decided she wasn’t going to keep silent anymore. She wanted to give Keith his privacy, but she knew that if he was anything like her—and he was—being alone with his thoughts was not going to do him any good. By not making him talk about Lance, about why he left Voltron, she was leaving him alone with the pain.

She was going to sit him down and have a conversation. Then they’d found the Altean colony, and everything after that had pushed talking aside. It felt like none of them even had the chance to breathe until it was all over.

They stopped on a plant to plot their corse back to Earth. They were going back to Earth. That alone was too much for her to handle.

Keith was like her. He thrived under pressure and had learned how to handle a crisis. It seemed that with Shiro recovering from coming back to life, he had appointed himself the leader. She was proud of him, even if it was stressful to watch him run around making sure everything was in order.

“I didn’t think he’d actually find you.” The voice startled her out of her thoughts. It was a voice she’d heard in Keith’s mind so many times, but in person only through the chaos.

“You’re Lance,” she stated.

“Yep,” the blue paladin nodded. “He told you about me?”

“A bit.” Far more than he’d meant to.

“Right,” Lance sighed. Somehow she felt that had been the wrong answer. “I don’t know if he told you, but—I just—do you know if he’s going to stay?”

“With Voltron?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Lance nodded.

“I don’t,” she answered honestly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Lance sighed again. “Thanks.”

“If you want him to, you should tell him,” she added.

“Nah, I’d just get in the way,” Lance shrugged. “He’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”

“Talk to him,” she said firmly. “If you don’t you’ll regret it.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a threat or a premonition,” Lance sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s both,” she informed him. “Take it as both.”

She pulled her son aside later. It was nearing night and the group had decided to rest in a near by inn. The inhabitants of the planet where on their side, so at least they didn’t have to worry about safety.

“This wasn’t how I wanted you to meet them,” Keith chuckled. “I’d kinda hoped that we get a calm moment.”

“That’s not how this universe works,” she said knowingly.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded.

“I need to talk to you about something,” she started.

“Is it about Lance?” He asked before she could say anything. “I saw the two of you talking earlier.”

“Yes, it’s about him,” she answered.

“And about all the memories of him you saw?” Keith asked this as if he wasn’t dropping a bomb on her.

“You knew,” she stated.

“Yeah,” he ran a hand through his hair. “I was gonna talk to you about it, but I didn’t really want to talk about it.”

“Would it be better if I pretend I didn’t see it?” She asked him.

“I don’t think anything is going to be easy for any of us anymore,” Keith replied. “I’m not embarrassed.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“But if you’re gonna ask me to just go and talk to him, I can’t.” He added.

“And why is that?” She questioned.

“Look at everything that’s going on,” Keith sighed. “I’m not going to make him talk to me about feelings. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s still mad at me for leaving in the first place.”

“He’s not going to forgive you if you don’t talk to him,” she chided.

“Communication isn’t my strong suit,” he said dryly.

“I know,” she smiled a sad smile. “You get that from me.”

“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” Keith decided. “I’m really exhausted.”

“We’re not done talking,” Krolia told him sternly.

“Mom, I don’t need love advice,” he groaned.

“How about just advice then?” She rested her hand on his shoulder. The tips of his hair brushed against her fingers. He really needed to get that cut sometime soon.

“I have a feeling you’re going to give it to me whether I say sure or not,” Keith relented.

“You’re a smart kid,” she smirked.

“I’m not a kid,” he muttered. Only he was. He’d never really stop being one, even through the trauma, and loss, and danger.

“It broke my heart to leave you and your father, but I did because I had to,” she started.

“I know,” he interrupted. “We talked about this before, I understand.”

“Do you know how I was able to leave the two people that mattered the most to me in the entire universe?” She asked him.

“Because you knew you were doing what was right?” He assumed.

“No,” a sad smile formed on her face. “Because no matter what happened, I was still taking with me all of the moments that we shared. I’m never going to see your father again, but he’ll always be with me.”

“I know he will,” Keith smiled too. Just for a moment. “But I don’t see what this has to do with me and Lance.”

“When I met your father I didn’t think about having to leave someday,” she told him. “I didn’t think about the war, or danger, I thought about the moment and I’ve never regretted anything that we shared.”

“You know I can’t just do that,” Keith stated.

“Why?” She asked.

“Because we’re not on Earth protecting lions, we’re in the middle of the war!” Keith exclaimed. “We don’t have time or the luxury for things like feelings.”

“No,” she said firmly. “It’s because we’re in the middle of a war, and because you might not have all the time in the world, that you deserve that luxury. If you just fight for the mission, Keith, you’ll survive but you’re not going to live. Fight for the people you care about, and let yourself have the chance to care about them.”

“He’ll want me to stay,” Keith uttered.

“Do you want to?” She asked him.

“Yes,” his voice was small now.

“You’re going to do just as much good with Voltron as you would with the Blade,” she told him. “And unlike the Blade, I think they need you.”

He nodded.

“And you need them too,” she added. “You can’t pretend that you don’t.”

“That doesn’t mean he feels the same,” Keith murmured. “What if he doesn’t?”

“What if he does and you do nothing?” She asked.

“I’m scared,” he uttered.

“I know.” She pulled him into her arms. “But have you ever let that hold you back before?”

* * *

Keith stood outside of the room he’d been told Lance was staying in. This was stupid. After nearly dying so many times, he couldn’t bring himself to simply knock on a door. God, this was stupid.

He didn’t even know what he was going to say. He didn’t know where to start. There was so much he wanted to tell Lance, but in the end would any of it change the things Lance had yelled at him. They’d pushed that fight aside because they’d had to, but that didn’t change the fact that Lance didn’t see him as the same person anymore.

He didn’t know if that changed the nights that they’d slept in the same bed just to make sure that the other could make it through the night. He didn’t know if Lance had let go of the moments they’d spent together because he was afraid the Keith had let them go first. He didn’t know what went on in Lance’s head. He never did and it was driving him crazy.

The door opened before he could work up the courage to ask to come in.

“I was gonna knock,” he uttered.

He watched surprise turn to amusement on Lance’s face. He remembered the time that Lance had said the same thing to him. He wondered if Lance had felt as anxious as he did right now.

“Right,” Lance grinned at him. “You wanna come in?”

“That would be nice,” Keith nodded.

They sat on the edge of the bed. Lance seemed to be waiting for Keith to start talking. That was fair, Keith was the one who’d hovered outside his room wondering how to come in. Keith was the one who needed them to talk. That didn’t mean he knew how to.

“I’m sorry,” he stated because that seemed like a good place to start.

“For what?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Everything,” Keith meant this. “Leaving, mainly. Not talking to you alone before I did.”

“It’s okay,” Lance had a sad look in his eyes. “I get that you had to.”

“No, I didn’t,” Keith said out loud for the first time. “I wanted to because if I didn’t I thought you’d be the one to leave.”

“What?” Lance just looked at him.

“You told me that you’d step down if you had to,” Keith remembered the conversation. “I didn’t want it to come to that.”

“You’re an idiot,” Lance informed him. “You’re such an idiot.”

“You’re welcome,” he muttered.

“I didn’t tell you that because I wanted you to fix my problem,” Lance sounded frustrated now.

“I know,” Keith told him. “I was the one who wanted me to fix it. I didn’t want you to have to feel like that.”

“Well, you being gone didn’t exactly make it go away,” Lance sighed.

“I don’t regret going,” Keith needed to say. “I regret that we didn’t talk about it.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Lance said softly.

“Don’t be,” Keith replied. “I’m kinda glad you did.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Lance huffed. “I was frustrated, and hurt. I know I shouldn’t have said most of it.”

“But you meant it,” Keith knew this.

“Yeah,” Lance nodded.

“Can we be okay?” Keith asked. “I understand if the answer is no. I really do, I just miss you a lot. I know that things aren’t the same as they used to be. I’m not saying I think they can go back to that, but I just—”

“Keith.” There was something else behind Lance’s eyes now. “We were okay since you came back in that Altean pod.”

“Oh,” Keith uttered.

Lance smiled now. Keith loved seeing him smile like that.

“So,” Lance nudged Keith’s shoulder with his own. “What else is bugging you?”

“What?” Keith blinked at him.

“You still look like you’re about to jump out of your skin,” Lance informed him. “Come on, give me some credit. I’ve known you long enough to read you.”

Keith hadn’t really thought about that. He knew Lance well, but he’d never really stopped to consider how much Lance knew him. He could tell something else was wrong. He could always tell when something was wrong.

“Why were you coming out of your room just now?” He asked suddenly. Lance had looked surprised when he found him standing there, but he’d still stopped whatever he was doing so they could talk.

“Oh, uh,” Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “I was actually gonna go find you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Why?” Keith had to ask.

“Because I wanted to annoy you,” Lance said matter-of-factly. “Obviously.”

“Right,” Keith rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Lance admitted. “Your mom said something about how we needed to talk. Turns out she was right.”

“She’s right about a lot of things.” Keith meant this.

“I’m happy for you,” Lance’s tone dipped into serious again. “That you found her, I mean. You deserve that.”

“Thanks,” Keith smiled at him. “So, do I get to meet your family when we get back to Earth?”

“Oh, trust me, you don’t want to,” Lance laughed.

“No, I do,” Keith insisted.

“They’re going to avalanche you with like a million questions,” Lance informed him.

“I think I can handle that,” Keith grinned at him.

“That’s what they all say,” Lance stated flatly.

“All?” Keith raised an eyebrow. “How many half aliens do your bring home, Lance?”

“I guess you’d be the first in that department,” Lance shook his head.

“You miss them, yeah?” Keith hummed.

“I do,” Lance told him. “A lot.”

“My mom told me to talk to you too,” Keith confessed. “I mean, I still would have if she hadn’t—”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Lance scoffed. “You suck at confrontation, Keith. Unless it’s yelling.”

“Shut up,” Keith sputtered.

“It’s true,” Lance crossed his arms.

“She also told me something else.” Keith was going to say it. He was going to say it before he chickened out again.

“That you have secret Galra powers you haven’t tapped into yet?” Lance didn’t miss a beat.

“What?” Keith shook his head. “No.”

“Come on, that would be so cool,” Lance whined.

“You’re such a child,” Keith stated.

“I’m not!” Lance exclaimed.

“I’m trying to be serious here,” Keith added.

“You’re always trying to be serious.” Lance shrugged, but his expression softened. “Okay, what did she tell you?”

“That when we’re at war, or in the middle of danger, we should still be allowed to feel things.” Keith knew she was right. He knew that it went against everything he’d told himself for a long time, but she was still right.

“Okay?” Lance shot him a questioning look.

“Even if it means that we might not get to forever,” Keith continued.

“I’m not following,” Lance stated.

“I, um,” Keith wanted to slap himself. He hated sounding this awkward. He hated that he was this awkward. “God, why is this so hard to say?”

“You’re turning red,” Lance pointed out.

“I know,” Keith hurried his head in his hands.

“It’s kinda adorable,” Lance let him know.

“Shut up,” he groaned.

“Come on,” Lance put a hand on his shoulder, making him lift his gaze. “What are you trying to say? I promise I won’t laugh or anything.”

Keith was going to say it. He was going to open his mouth and take the step that scared him more than the possibility of dying. He was going to trust that his mother was right, and that this wasn’t going to be a mistake.

“I like you.”

And then the words were out. And then he heard them, he watched Lance hear them. And then he could feel himself caving in.

“I know, that’s kinda coming out of nowhere,” he babbled. This wasn’t a back pedal, it was too late for that, but he couldn’t just leave that hanging in the air. “It isn’t for me, I promise, but I could have done a better job at hinting I guess. I mean I never meant to tell you, but—I don’t know. I spent two years away from everything and that kinda made me realize that these feelings are real. I’m sorry if I just made things awkward, I didn’t—”

Keith didn’t register Lance’s hand on his face until their lips were pressed together. He didn’t realize what was going on until Lance was pulling him close. It wasn’t the practiced motion that he thought someone like Lance would have. It was sloppy and confusing and everything Keith had hoped it would be.

“Sorry was that too much?” Lance asked as he drew back.

“No,” Keith uttered. “I—”

“You’re still red,” Lance giggled.

“Does that mean—”

“Yeah,” Lance answered before Keith could even find the words to form the question. “Since that day you made sure I actually went to sleep. Or maybe since school, I don’t know. It’s kinda blurry.”

“And all the girls you flirt with?” Keith questioned.

“You didn’t actually take that seriously?” Lance laughed.

“Yeah,” Keith said sheepishly. He hadn’t thought he’d had a chance.

“I just like to joke around,” Lance looked the slightest bit embarrassed now.

“You’re impossible,” Keith exhaled.

“Yeah, I know.” And then Lance kissed him again.

* * *

They were laying on Lance’s bed. They weren’t quite asleep yet. Lance’s head was going to cut off the circulation in Keith’s arm, and he really didn’t care. It felt good to be like this. They were breathing the same air, tangled together lazily. They’d slept shoulder to shoulder so many times before, but it had never been like this. They had never been this close. Keith had never been able to hold Lance in his arms.

“Keith?” Lance’s voice was and tried and beautiful.

“Yeah?” Keith hummed back.

“Does this mean that you’re gonna stay?” He asked. “For me?”

“Yeah,” Keith answered. “I will.”

He was going to stay like this for as long as he could.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I do not know why it took this long for me to write a Voltron fic. 
> 
> Check out my Tumblr: @piper_emerald!


End file.
